Bitcheee

Ok so im in a bad mood and would like to just vent..
pay no attention if you dont want to but i warn the interested this is just a rant!

When i was 16 my mum got a new bf and oneday just up and left for adelaide.. didnt tell anyone she was going until she was half way there! she left me and my brother behind and took 2 of my brothers. so me and my brother moved in with my grandma and have nothing to do with my mum anymore. (i did try and failed miserably). i turned into a total bitch and broke up with danny. i went through a "rebelous" stage where i was just totally stupid. doing stupid things, stealing, abusive, didnt come home for days, with dickhead guys you name it.
eventually my grandparents had enough and said i gotta choose either stay or leave and dont come back (which of course they didnt mean) but of course i chose to leave with this wanker i was seeing.
blah blah blah long story short i was stupid, screwed everything up and hated myself.
eventually i grew up and sorted things out. it had been 6 months since i spoke to danny then oneday out of nowhere i called him. he was shocked to hear from me lol but was still nice, not rude and we just talked and talked. we ended getting back together and i moved back into my grandparents house.

dannys mum always hated me..
when i would go to his house for dinner she would grease me off and talk in portuguese but i knew she was talking about me. she would say i stink, im scum, im a loser with no money and stuff like that. she even threatened to call the cops cause i was there for dinner and she didnt want me in her house.

about 2 years later i was feeling sick so she took me to the doctors and we found out we were pregnant. she was shocked and well not happy! someone in dannys family started a rumour saying the baby wasnt dannys so dannys mum wanted me to get rid of the baby and just tell danny i miscarried. there was no way in hell i would do that! me and danny were happy and thats all that matters.
i then moved in with them and thats when the "fun" started.
she would take me shopping everyday and buy stuff for me and the baby. she was all of a sudden nice and i was a little scared lol cause she was never like this before.. that was until i disagreed with her over something to do with the baby and then it was on!

i would be abused for not eating right, smoking, drinking anything other then water. nothing and i mean nothing was good enough for her. finally it was 2 weeks before i was due and she told me when i go into labour if she isnt home to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital but DO NOT WASTE TIME CALLING MY FAMILY!
8 days before i was due i woke up with a sore back and a show.
i went to my auntys and i was in labour. anyways i had kayden and when we came home nothing had changed. there was constant yelling and screaming. i wasnt alowed to call him kayden cause she told me her grandson had to have a european name. pfft bitch please!
i was a total mess, i had jsut got home with this beautiful baby and i couldnt even enjoy him. i went down stairs and burst into tears. i got onto the computer and looked up european names and whatta know kayden is irish (different spelling though) which is european.. muahaha i printed it off and took it to her and said there you go heres a european name for ya!

anyways enough blabbering lol..
it hasnt stopped! she is a total bitch. if i didnt dress kayden in what she wanted i would get into trouble or she would just take him and change him into what she wanted. i couldnt feed him what i wanted, i wasnt the one to comfort him when he was hurt, i litterally couldnt do anything without being critisised.
i found myself at my grandmas with kayden everyday and wouldnt go home til i knew she was in bed. i just didnt wanna face her anymore.
me and danny were fighting all the time cause of her.
eventually i said to danny im moving out its your choice whether or not you come.
so we did, it still didnt stop.
she came over oneday and danny had bought a fish tank, she told me if the fish tank wasnt gone by the next day she was gonna call DOCS cause apparently kayden was gonna drown in it and she would rather never see him again then in a grave.

she was always saying im fat and i dont wanna end up like my family do i?
by now we were pregnant a second time and we didnt tell her til i was 24 weeks.
when she found out she said to me "ohh you couldnt wait could you, daniel didnt want another child"

anyways we said from day one to his mum that my aunty would have kayden when i went into hospital to have bubs but she wouldnt take that for an answer. when i went onto labour we called them to let them know and believe it or not she started arguing with us while i was in labour, contractions every 5 mins.

when she came into see oliver when he was born she said to me i need to start exercising straight away so i dont end up fat like my family (dannys mum is in a size 4-6).
the night i got home from the hospital she came over and started yet another argument cause i hadnt done the dishes. i was lazy, disgusting, she was critisising my family sayinf she dosnt blame me for being like that its my familys fualt.

anyways thats about it lol to sum it up nothing is good enough for her. everything has to be done her way or you get abused. im gonna be sorry oneday cause apparently i dont feed my kids. (just cause i dont feed them what she wants me to) im a bad mum if i dont do it her way cause she knows what she is talking about cause she has had one baby. still to this day i find myself crying because of her, stessed, emotional. i cant cope around her at all but she will never change.

hahah thanks for listening.
sorry its soo long lol but i could have gone on for hours haha


xoxoxox

Am I Really Ready For The Terrible Two's?

First and formost let me just start with a big fat HELL NO!!

so there is only 8 days till my not so little baby turns 2! am i ready? umm no.. do i want this to happen? no way!

the memories of the amazing birth of kayden are still so wonderfully fresh in my mind that its hard to believe that 2 years have already passed.
i can remember bringing home this tiny little wonder and laying him all wrapped up in his bassinet, listening to his little noises and groans, his tiny little cry, the beautiful newborn smell.
he was such a fantastic little baby who would only ever cry when hungry and now a almost 2 year old hurricane!

where oh where has my baby gone?

i have heard such horrible stories about "the terrible two's" that quiet frankly i would love to just skip this whole year!
but are they really that bad?

i've been saying for 6 months now that kayden has entered the terrible two's stage early as god knows he can be such a handful at times!
so i wonder is it going to get much worse then this?

id love to hear other mummys stories on this not so glamorous stage so please feel free to leave comment and please dont leave anything out! i wanna know exactly what im in for..
hahaha

What Makes A Good Mum?

Lately ive heard alot of people saying someone is a bad mum, a good mum, or she dosnt know what she's doing!
so my question is, what makes a good mum?

is it spoiling your child?
not letting the child go out or anyone touch them just incase of germs?
how far is too far?

i know someone who has a 4 year old little boy and he dosnt eat anything! i mean anything except for biscuits and chips.. the mother dosnt try to change this or help her son and it breaks my heart to see this 4 year old is the same size and height as my 2 year old.. he is on a strict routine which dont get me wrong im all for the routines but his routine consists of: get up, get dressed, go to "school", come home sit and play by himself and only educational toys, then bath, dinner, bed by 7.30 if his lucky..
he isnt allowed to interact with other children outside of school..
this child is always sick and i ask myself is this because of his lifestyle?

now this mother has critised me on how i raise my kids saying not to force them to eat or he shouldnt be playing with this or that.
she has called me a bad mum cause i wanted to go out one night and tried to convince my husband to take my son off me.. luckily for him he ignored her lol..
but does wanting to go out for the first time in 9 months really make you a bad mum?
does me wanting whats best for my child make me a bad mum?

in my eyes a good mum is someone who loves her children, who is caring and protective to a certain extent.. someone that will always put her children first.
so isnt that what i do everyday of my life?
how does that make me a bad mum?

My Birth Story: Oliver Henry

The 5th of july came around so slowly but we were so excited it was here! it was finally time to meet our baby boy.. little did we know he wasnt planning on coming til 9 days later!!

I had my 40 weeks checkup and the midwife was suprised i hadnt already gone, she was saying through the whole pregnancy she thinks ill go 2 weeks early! everything was going great.. except for the constant aching back, feet, legs, lets just say WHOLE body!! i begged her to tell me all the secrets to bring on labour but nothin she told me worked.. so she booked me in for another appointment at 41+1, hopeing i wouldnt get to that point i waddled out of the hospital and off home we went.

The week later no baby so off to the hospital for my checkup, again everything was fine and the doctor did a "strech and sweep" while he was doing it he turned to me and said i think you will go into labour within 24 hours.. i didnt believe him as i was soo over being pregnant i didnt think this baby was ever gonna come out!
We booked in an induction date just incase and off we went home..

At 4.45 am i woke up to kayden playing in his room and laughing then realised i was having pains so i started timing them and there were 4-5 mins apart!! i was soo excited! was it finally time?
I called the hospital and the midwife said to come in so up we got, jumped into the car and off we went!
On the way to the hospital we dropped kayden off at my grandmas and continued on, by now my contractions were really intenese and i was freaking out thinking we wouldnt make it!

We got to the hospital at 5.40 am and i was put straight into the birthing suite and hooked up to the baby heart monitor..
The contractions were so painful i felt like i was just gonna pass out! i was begging for the gas but my aunty said to wait til later and have it towards the end cause its obnly gonna get worse..

At 7.10 i felt this unbelievable erge to push so i told my aunty and she told the midwife, the midwife said to hold it and just wait for the 7 o'clock midwife to come in so they didnt have to do 2 internals..
Hold it?? Are you insane??

Finally 15 mins later the midwife came in to check me and as she rolled me over my water broke.. in the time it took her to put on her gloves, after 2 pushes Oliver Henry was born on the 14th july at 7.33 am, he was 8lbs and 50cms long.

All up i was in labour for 2 hours and 45 minutes and at the end of it i had the most beautiful, perfect little man..


oliver 30 mins old

I feel like the luckiest person alive to have 2 such beautiful healthy boys!
Kayden just loves his little brother and i love to watch how gentle and caring they are together.


oliver 4 months old

My Birth Story: Kayden Edward

On the 17th of january i woke up from the best sleep at 11 am and was busting for the toilet! as i was going to the toilet i realised i had my show, so i called my aunty and askedif she was busy and if she could please pick me up so i could spend the day at her house as i was home alone and just wanted to be safe incase it was time.

About an hour later she picked me up and i had really bad back pain so i just relaxed at her house, about 30 mins latertwe went shopping for a play gym and looking at capsules! i started having light contractions at about 10 mins apart so we went back to her house and they kept getting closer together so i called the hospital but they said call back when there 4-5 mins apart and not to eat anything incase of an emergency c-section. 5 mins later my aunty comes home with a large whopper meal from hj's lol so we all sat back and ate, thankgod i didnt need a c-section!! the rest of the day i was there and just relaxed.

At 7pm danny picked me up and took me home on the way home my contractions were getting more painful and closer together so we went home and he had dinner then we made our way down to the hospital, we got to the hospital at about 8pm.

I was put into the birthing suite and had an internal i was 3cm dialated. About 2 hours later they told me i should go home cause nothing was going to happen anytime soon! but of course stubburn me said no i wanna stay.. yes thats right ladies i wanted to stay in the hospital when they thought there was no point!

I then got into the shower and my contractions were getting more and more intense after about an hour in the shower, with a beautiful massage from my man, i got out and got into the bed.

At about 12.00 am, i asked for the gas but i was pulling on it so the tube kept popping out so i didnt get much at all.

It got to 12.45 and i told the midwife i need to push and she said no its not time and i said i need to push!! so she did an internal and i was fully dilated so she broke my waters. At 12.55 i started to push. it was such a relief being able to push through the contractions!

Then at 1.15am on the 18th of january kayden edward was born and placed on my chest, he was 7lb 3oz and 49cms long..

He was so beautiful that first look and hold was the most amazing feeling in the world! i could never imagine how amazing it feels before this day

kayden 12 hours old

It has been an amazing roller coaster ride from this day onwards but there is not a moment i would change!

kayden 23 months